Man overboard

I have a list of 3 things I would want to experience in my life, and here it is:

1. Find an actual authentic treasure. We are talking gold, diamonds, scepters and the whole shabang! Some myrra (or whatever it is called in english, you know, like the 3 wise men supposedly brought for the baby-shower) would be cool, just to be able to say I have some of it laying around.

2. Get advice from a dying man.

3. Either a) get a pet monkey that could do various mundane tasks for me or b) get a coat that has a prop-parakeet on the right-hand shoulder so I look like a pirate.

Do you have a list?